Like so many women for whom having a baby is not a 1-2-3 process, I was told it would take a miracle for me to get pregnant. While I certainly do believe in divine intervention, I knew when I received the hopeless news that I had to find a way to make my own miracle. And I did—not once, not twice, but several times.
Coming from a large Irish family, I saw firsthand how hard mothers worked and never envisioned that trying to conceive would be a challenge. My mother had eight kids, so I assumed having children was something every woman did naturally as a part of life. And yet I, the midwife who assisted with this process on a daily basis, could not get pregnant, when 8000 women daily discover they are pregnant and the pregnancy was unplanned.
For ten long years I struggled with infertility, trying month after month to get that “positive” pregnancy test millions of women yearn for.
Finally, at the age of thirty-eight, I got pregnant for the first time. During early pregnancy I made a conscious decision to be a stay-at-home mom. Like many women, I worried about money, wondering how was I going to be able to afford to give up my high paying midwifery career? Sixteen weeks into my pregnancy, tragedy struck, when my little baby growing inside me died. Now I had to be the patient in bed, undergoing a grueling two-day induced labor to deliver my son that had died inside of me.
This pregnancy miscarriage experience helped me begin to understand the powerful effect our thoughts, words and actions can have on our pregnancy outcome. After my heart wrenching miscarriage my husband and I summoned up the courage to embark on an adventure so many couples take part in today: infertility treatment. I was elated that for the first time, our insurance would cover the costly procedures. And I was fully confident that my infertility treatments would work. However, six months later, after numerous doctor visits, injections, blood tests, ultrasounds, three failed attempts at intrauterine insemination, I decided to do IVF.
In the middle of this IVF cycle I was diagnosed with premature ovarian failure. In other words I was in premature menopause and no longer producing eggs. I was promptly removed from the infertility program and informed that I would never have a biological child—unless a miracle happened. My husband and I left the clinic that day in total devastation, thinking all our hopes and dreams of being parents were gone. I thought, “How could this happen to me, someone who has dedicated my life to helping pregnant women?” What saddened me more was that maybe I was to blame in some small way for losing my one and only opportunity to be a mother because I worried about money during my first pregnancy. It seemed the time had come for me to accept that I may be childless. But despite the medical prognosis, deep inside me I still felt that one day I would have a child. I knew I had a physical contract to be a parent.
As a midwife, I have delivered thousands of babies and cared for thousands of women before, during, and after their pregnancy. Sustaining a head injury while delivering a baby was the catalyst After an injury that forced me to walk outside the traditional medical model for pain relief. I ventured on to the path of holistic healing, obtaining numerous certifications. Even though my chances of becoming pregnant were absolutely zero, I decided to research what I needed to do nutritionally and emotionally to heal my own infertility—I would try to get pregnant on my own.
When I was twenty-five weeks along, I went into premature labor. The neck of my womb had shortened and was opened. I knew that at this stage of my pregnancy, if I delivered the baby, the doctors were required to resuscitate my baby. I feared a baby born at six months gestation had huge life threatening health challenges to face and a high probability of brain damage. I had to turn the situation around.
1 Is to get pregnancy!
2 Is to have a healthy outcome!
Drawing on my energetic healing abilities, I attempted to create balance. I meditated for hours, through the contractions. I called on every power in the universe, every archangel, every master I could think of. I thought, “I have to keep this baby inside me"
After four hours, I stopped the labor and my cervix closed completely, confirmed by ultrasound. I went on to have a normal healthy pregnancy, carrying my son to thirty-eight weeks. My miracle baby was born at home, with no complications. Just eight months later another miracle happened—I got pregnant again without even trying and now I have two healthy boys!
During my second labor I meditated alone, silently embracing each contraction. I was waiting and waiting for the ferocious contractions to come and consume my body as they did with my first son.
Without warning I was fully dilated ready to deliver my baby. After a little panic and a few phone calls my midwife, family and friends were there to witness a beautiful gentle water birth. Birth is an unpredictable event and no matter how prepared we are for birth sometimes things go wrong. I hemorrhaged badly loosing half my blood volume but because of expert midwifery management—and an encounter with angelic beings—I received another miracle: my own life. I remember hearing my midwife and friends talking to me, but I could no longer see them. What I did see were angelic beings in another world. They were nervous, saying...
Suddenly I was been shown pictures, clips of the future for my kids, images of my family members and friends crying and very upset. I have such a soft heart and hate to see people crying so I made a conscious choice to change my death exit time and stay alive. I was informed by these angelic beings that I would be given another chance in life so that one day I would bring my midwifery skills, my knowledge about the energetic dynamics of pregnancy, infertility and miscarriage to women all over the world.
Traditional medical professionals can look at the pregnancy process from a clinical point of view, but one can’t know until you’ve experienced it. Everything I practiced and taught changed because I now have cellular knowledge of what women go through. All of the traditional education we receive is based on the physical anatomy of the body, as we know it, and hormones, but pregnancy is not just a physical process.
Understanding pregnancy, infertility and miscarriage from a higher consciousness has given me a unique perspective from which I now help thousands of women experience the deeper side of pregnancy, honoring themselves as women and the uniqueness of their unborn child. I teach the importance of bonding with your baby’s emotions every day, going deep within, walking into the womb emotionally. Because I am a holistic energy healer, I am able to see beyond the physical body and see the energy dynamics of pregnancy.
Balancing their energetic systems, much as I did when I went in to labor with my first child at twenty-five weeks, women are able to avoid many symptoms of pregnancy. Energy healing can help women overcome infertility, avoid miscarriage and pregnancy complications, and the all-to common caesarean section. Our thoughts, words and actions have tremendous power and penetrate every physical, mental and emotional cell of both the mothers and the baby's body.
Understanding the energy dynamics of pregnancy gives us the opportunity to heal our own birth related emotional trauma.
It gives parents-to-be an opportunity to emotionally heal adverse negative thoughts picked up by their baby while in the womb. My infertility experience gave me a higher understanding regarding the stress and the hardship some couples experience in their attempt to achieve a pregnancy. My heart goes out to all people who have walked the path of infertility. Even if you feel you have exhausted all options keep searching, keep trying. Never give up hope. Be open to both traditional and holistic approaches. Do all you can to create your own miracles! If you are pregnant click here! If you are trying to get pregnant click here!